‘His chest cracks with something he can’t put a name to.’

—

There’s a shuffle and a click of the door from Phil’s room an hour and a half later, and suddenly there’s an inexplicable hammering in Dan’s chest, his mouth bone dry. This is where and when the clean break happens, it’s either fucking fairy tales and happiness, or an awkward pause, and last glances. Dan’s betting on the latter.

Phil putters into the kitchen area and stops short once he sees Dan. He pauses, looking at the kitchen tiles, before going over to the counter, clicking the kettle lever up.

It’s all too casual.

Read More

ishimaruu:

if u dont unironically like at least a few high school musical songs you are lying

there is a huge difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you and it took me a long ass time to realize that

donttouchmynewtonballs:

when you’re in a really bad mood and someone tries to cheer you up

hi-im-a-bunny:

i’m writing a children’s book

amazing-fizzyfamily-isnotonfire:

“hey phil take a picture of me pressing my face into the couch its for a funny tweet”

llamagoddessofawesomeness:

mytubers:

scribble-scratch:

ranthedictator:

onshiftingsand:

ranthedictator:

alaskan-dreams:

jackiecello23:

meeya87:

outofthecavern:

yourfacesirihateit:

well-fly-ofcourse:

yourfacesirihateit:

luna-magia:

vennyvanilla:

zodiac-ler:

Lol myspace…

Hello Google..

let me lick your face. 

I might do tumblr if someone will be my 4chan…

I kinda ship Google and Yahoo

“Yahoo.” An all-too familiar voice stopped at her desk. Yahoo looked up nervously.

“Oh. Hi, Google,” she said, fixing her pencil skirt as neatly as she could sitting down.

“I was wondering if I could sit here?” His voice was sultry, barely above a whisper in the almost deserted library.

“Yeah, su-sure,” she stumbled, closing her eyes momentarily to regain her confidence. “What are you working on?”

“Nothing majour,” Google said, relaxing in the seat next to her. “I’ve had to practically do so many people’s assignments for them because they’re too lazy to do it themselves.” He smiled slightly, trying to warm up the timid girl in front of him. He sat up straighter. “What are you working on?”

“I just needed a break. People kept asking me questions, and I got so tired of it, I came in here to get my mind off of everything.”

“Maybe I can help you?” Google slid his hand up her skirt smoothly, rubbing his thumb against her thigh. She gasped quietly, but did nothing to stop him.

“I—I’d be okay with that.”

DEAD

I SHIP IT SO HARD

HAS NO ONE NOTICED 4CHAN IS BASICALLY SLENDER?

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE DON’T MAKE ME START SHIPPING THIS TOO!

Only on tumblr can you ship search engines…

This is just amazing. xD And look at Bing! I could sympathize…being short and all…but he just is trying too hard to compete with Google. Calm down, sport.

“So how was the library, hun?” deviantArt’s voice startled Yahoo, breaking her reverie. 

“Oh, uh, it was… Nice. Very nice. Just nice.” Yahoo stumbled over her words, knowing her friend would never leave her alone if she found out Google had talked to her. THE Google.

DevA’s eyes narrowed, stabbing the point of her pencil in Yahoo’s direction. “What’s your deal?” 

“W-what? Nothing!” Yahoo tried to swat the pencil away but the pixie-esque girl simply intensified her gaze.

“… Did someone troll you again today? Do I need to photoshop them with elephantiasis in some unpleasant areas?”  

“What?! No, not again! It was nothing like that.” 

DevA relaxed a bit, stretching in the office chair across from Yahoo. “Then what is it? Spit it out, girlie.” 

Yahoo was about to insist again that it was nothing, when a whirlwind of energy bounded up behind her and leaned over DevA’s shoulder. 

“Yahoo is just suffering a serious case of the UNFs. Google was totally hitting on her yesterday!” Tumblr smiled mischievously by DevA’s ear. 

“What?! Girl, why didn’t you tell me? Are you serious?” DevA screeched, her eyes widening in disbelief.

“Oh, I’m serious. I’m totally shipping it. The entire situation was oozing sexual tension, I can’t even.” Tumblr squealed.

“T-Tumblr! Don’t say things like that! With my luck, Twitter will hear and it’ll be trending by tonight and what would I say to Google if I saw him again and ohmygod what if you’ve already said something to him please oh goodness tell me you’ve not said anything to him andandand-” Yahoo gasped for breath, her head light with the possibility of her long-time crush hearing such nonsense from the hyperactive coworker. 

“What’s so wrong with Tumblr talking to me?” A sultry voice whispered across Yahoo’s ear, and by the almost-fainting look DevA was sending her and the evil glint in Tumblr’s eyes, Yahoo knew her life was over. Yep. It was just over.

“Well, uhm, it’s not that it’s wrong for Tumblr to talk to you,” Yahoo stammered guiltily as she turned to look into Google’s wise, blue eyes, “it’s just that, I-uh, am-uh working on a new project and uhm the uh, you knows don’t want me to uh speak of it…”

“Project? There’s no project. Yahoo was just telling me allllll about -” Tumblr was rudely interrupted by a slender hand across her mouth.

“Tumblr and I need to go talk about some Sterek art that has been circulating around between the two of us,” DevA declared a little too loudly for Tumblr’s comfort. 

“Mmmmpph, mm, mumph,” Tumblr mumbled, flailing her arms around trying to bat Deviant away from her.

Yahoo’s shoulders tensed slightly as Google sat down across from her. He gently fixed his colorful tie with long, thin fingers. The nervous girl had just begun to relax when suddenly a beanie-d young male came out of nowhere toting a camera.

“Hey, guys, would you mind giving me a few frames so I can show the world all about the newly forming relationship between Google and Yahoo?” YouTube asked pointing the camera directly at Yahoo’s blushing cheeks.

“W-WHAT?! No, we, that’s not, you shouldn’t, YouTube!” Yahoo flailed, her glasses nearly falling off her nose in her flustered state.

The petite form of Facebook trailed up behind YouTube, draping her arms over the teen’s shoulders. “Oh, come off it, Yahoo. It’s not Facebook official anyway. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” 

“Leave her alone, Facebook. Don’t overreact. I was only teasing, anyway.” YouTube said, shrugging the girl’s arms off his shoulders.

Yahoo had to fight the urge to to cover her reddening face and run as the camera was dropped from pointing in her direction.

Google merely chuckled, flicking up the slipping glasses on Yahoo’s nose. “Don’t worry about it. YouTube is just having a bit of fun.” 

“Well, Google, if you wanna have some fun too I heard of a really great party happening tonight-” Facebook was cut off by a smooth decline from Google.

“No thank you, Facebook. I have previous engagements.” 

“You’re such a slag, Facebook,” YouTube sneered.

“You’re such a British wanna be, YouTube!” Facebook screeched, following the young teen away to the social side of the office.

After giving an awkward chuckle, Yahoo cleared her throat and arranged papers on her desk that clearly didn’t need rearranging. “So. Um. Previous engagements? That sounds fun.” Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Smooth, Yahoo. 

Google gave a half grin, his lips quirking up to the side. “Well,” he began, ruffling his shaggy hair, “I was hoping I’d be busy on a date tonight.”

Oh. Oh. “That… Sounds like fun. I hope you have a good time.” Yahoo said, giving a half-hearted grin.

Google’s eyes glinted with something Yahoo didn’t comprehend. “I will, if she says yes.”

“Who?” It was probably Twitter. She was so cute and always had the latest new to talk about and-

“You, beautiful.” Oh. Oh. Brain overload. 

“Yahoo?” 

“Yahoo, is that a no?”

REBOOT REBOOT QUICK. “NO! No, I mean, it’s not a no, definitely not a no.” Yahoo sucked in a nervous breath, letting it out on a slow and breathy laugh. “I mean no, that’s definitely a yes.” 

Google’s eyes brightened, adjusting his tie a bit as if he were… Proud? “Great. That’s really… Great.”

I literally hate every one of you.

IT’S BACK

Forever reblog

i-w4lk-al0ne:

varyagst:

forsciencejohn:

omg she recognizes me on video chat

the third one

“human?”

“HUMAN?”

“HUMAN WHERE ARE YOU WHY ARE YOU TRAPPED IN HERE

“I WILL FREE YOU FROM THIS DEVIL MACHINE”

slantededge:

at my future wedding and funeral service

africans:

i drop a piece of weed and it fell in a spider web and the spider was like “my nigga” and we fist pounded

hndwrttn:

kairisk:

So I pokemon-fusioned and

…

the MAJESTY

I can’t anymore.

‘“I bet you fucking set the kitchen on fire or something-“’

—

Dan wakes up with a slight hangover, wincing as he sits up on the sofa, early morning light streaming into the room, showing in stripes across the floor. Yesterday was hazy, but it must have been fucking big, because the feeling in Dan’s stomach, writhing and uneasy, is far from good.

He swallows and stands up, footsteps heavy as he makes his way, padding over to the kitchen barefooted. As he clicks the kettle on to make strong sugary coffee, bits and pieces of yesterday’s incident coming back to him. The haziness, warm arms around him. He startles when the kettle lever flicks up with a sharp ping.

As he pours the boiling water over the coffee grains, he nearly burns his hand, as he remembers kissing Phil, lips warm against his. He kissed Phil. He kissed Phil. He, not some boyfriend, kissed Phil.

“You’re drunk, you don’t mean that.”

Then he exclaims, “shit,” when he realises Phil pulled back, rejecting him, and his stomach drops, writhing, uneasy. He checks the oven clock, showing 6:47 am, and he quietens the rattle of the metal spoon stirring against the mug.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he curses, muttering against the coffee mug. No doubt Phil is in bed, thoughts of packing filling up his subconscious head. He fucking kissed Phil in a drunken stupor while babbling about his stupid, stupid feelings and, Jesus Christ, it’s all gone to hell. He does the first thing he can think of, and that’s to call Chris fucking Kendall.

Read More